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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

COYBL25 said:
A lot of sufferers are like this mate :

Public Face.

Private Face.

It`s an act you put on, to hide the fact that anything is wrong.
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I know what you mean, i used to do that all the time mate I'm over that were you care to much about the opinions of others. These days it's different it almost feels like when I'm out busy I'm myself just normal then when I'm alone I don't know what else to do so I revert to old habits in unhealthy thinking an that. Causing my own anxiety.

I'm not normal. Tbh
 
COYBL25 said:
A lot of sufferers are like this mate :

Public Face.

Private Face.

It`s an act you put on, to hide the fact that anything is wrong.
Click to expand...

I'm very much like this, only 1 person in work has any idea about my anxiety and nobody would ever have guessed based on my persona at work. I also do a lot of work that involves trying to get insurance for people with medical issues and some of the comments made in my office when someone declares a mental illness are fairly horrible.

I always challenge these comments and the knobheads generally back down but it's an example of why a lot of people don't discuss it openly.
 
the golden visionary said:
I know what you mean, i used to do that all the time mate I'm over that were you care to much about the opinions of others. These days it's different it almost feels like when I'm out busy I'm myself just normal then when I'm alone I don't know what else to do so I revert to old habits in unhealthy thinking an that. Causing my own anxiety.

I'm not normal. Tbh
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You are normal mate, it's just that time by yourself, means time to brood and dwell on things, which is when it all kicks back in again.

This is where counselling helps so much, as it teaches you coping mechanisms and also to recognise what's happening.
 
the golden visionary said:
Can you distract yourself from it or does it overpower everything? I've been there. Its when little things set me off that I know it's coming.

Writing it down on a4 works for me. Then read it back a bit later and burn it. It's a real therapy method I was put on and it's works for the minor things for me. The bigger problems are far more rooted so take more than that.
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I’m trying mate works for a bit then boom creeps back. Il be full on under the blanket mode soon enough.
 

efcforever said:
We lost two babies before we had our little girl (now 2) and we've have a little boy due in March. When they are born it's like a switch is flicked in your head, it changed me in an instant and they just become the center of your world. The difficulty us dad's have during pregnancy is it's not really possible to form a bond with the baby whereas mum already has because she's carrying him/her.

The other advice I would give is don't be too hard on yourself. It's a lot of pressure being a dad. I suffer with anxiety and got really low this summer. Felt like I was no good to anyone. Get yourself to the GP and get some support. Also counselling really helped me.

Good luck mate.
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thanks mate, yeah I have arranged an appointment at the docs so that's a start, feeling much better this week anyway
 
Hi everyone, thought I'd update.

Things are quite stable for me at the moment, still in my full-time job that I enjoy and still get out with mates as often I can to enjoy myself. When I have evenings to myself at home I just try to unwind watching telly to release stress, all very boring stuff.

My mood swings are as usual are very up and down, I can go from buzzing to very fragile and insecure in the space of an hour and still overthink a lot of things that are probably very minor and don't mean anything really. I'm trying to accept myself more and more and feel I am making progress, especially considering where I was about 6-9 months ago. The biggest thing I still struggle with is confidence in certain social situations, I have a very tough time trying not to obsess about whether I'm coming across positively or negatively. My personality, most of the time, is quite happy-go-lucky (at least around others) and I think the vast majority of people I interact with regularly have a positive opinion about me. The thing that bothers me though is that none of this ever seems to translate in my confidence levels being raised, it always seems to abandon me when I feel I need it most.

I also keep thinking "where am I going to be in so many years' time? What will life be like? Will anything happen with anyone? If so, how and when? Where will everything end up?"

All sorts of silly stuff like that which I feel embarrassed even complaining about. My lot is bloody great compared to the majority of people on here who have very real physical problems that require urgent attention. My mind can't seem to make peace with the fact that everything will work out for the best. It's all very draining having these thoughts all day, everyday.

I'm always here to chat if anyone needs an ear but feels to shy to post in the forum, about anything no matter how stupid you might fee it is. Don't bottle it up people. :)
 
EFCPaul said:
Hi everyone, thought I'd update.

Things are quite stable for me at the moment, still in my full-time job that I enjoy and still get out with mates as often I can to enjoy myself. When I have evenings to myself at home I just try to unwind watching telly to release stress, all very boring stuff.

My mood swings are as usual are very up and down, I can go from buzzing to very fragile and insecure in the space of an hour and still overthink a lot of things that are probably very minor and don't mean anything really. I'm trying to accept myself more and more and feel I am making progress, especially considering where I was about 6-9 months ago. The biggest thing I still struggle with is confidence in certain social situations, I have a very tough time trying not to obsess about whether I'm coming across positively or negatively. My personality, most of the time, is quite happy-go-lucky (at least around others) and I think the vast majority of people I interact with regularly have a positive opinion about me. The thing that bothers me though is that none of this ever seems to translate in my confidence levels being raised, it always seems to abandon me when I feel I need it most.

I also keep thinking "where am I going to be in so many years' time? What will life be like? Will anything happen with anyone? If so, how and when? Where will everything end up?"

All sorts of silly stuff like that which I feel embarrassed even complaining about. My lot is bloody great compared to the majority of people on here who have very real physical problems that require urgent attention. My mind can't seem to make peace with the fact that everything will work out for the best. It's all very draining having these thoughts all day, everyday.

I'm always here to chat if anyone needs an ear but feels to shy to post in the forum, about anything no matter how stupid you might fee it is. Don't bottle it up people. :)
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Great stuff that mate, lots of positives.

Hopefully once your confidence improves, when your out and about, the other stuff will lessen too, as that seems to be main thing that`s causing your problems.

Keep up the good work ;)
 

EFCPaul said:
Hi everyone, thought I'd update.

Things are quite stable for me at the moment, still in my full-time job that I enjoy and still get out with mates as often I can to enjoy myself. When I have evenings to myself at home I just try to unwind watching telly to release stress, all very boring stuff.

My mood swings are as usual are very up and down, I can go from buzzing to very fragile and insecure in the space of an hour and still overthink a lot of things that are probably very minor and don't mean anything really. I'm trying to accept myself more and more and feel I am making progress, especially considering where I was about 6-9 months ago. The biggest thing I still struggle with is confidence in certain social situations, I have a very tough time trying not to obsess about whether I'm coming across positively or negatively. My personality, most of the time, is quite happy-go-lucky (at least around others) and I think the vast majority of people I interact with regularly have a positive opinion about me. The thing that bothers me though is that none of this ever seems to translate in my confidence levels being raised, it always seems to abandon me when I feel I need it most.

I also keep thinking "where am I going to be in so many years' time? What will life be like? Will anything happen with anyone? If so, how and when? Where will everything end up?"

All sorts of silly stuff like that which I feel embarrassed even complaining about. My lot is bloody great compared to the majority of people on here who have very real physical problems that require urgent attention. My mind can't seem to make peace with the fact that everything will work out for the best. It's all very draining having these thoughts all day, everyday.

I'm always here to chat if anyone needs an ear but feels to shy to post in the forum, about anything no matter how stupid you might fee it is. Don't bottle it up people. :)
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Good post mate. The first 2 paragraphs I could have written myself.
I'm in a but of a bad patch now due unforseen circumstances but I usually get myself out of it by being mindful of unhealthy thought patterns. I got a sheet of my counselor which listed about 12 I can't remember all of them but it was

Compare and despair - you only look at the good of someone else and compare it to the worst of yourself.

Predicting the future - puts unnecessary stress on you.

The words should and must- again puts unnecessary stress on a situation. Delete these words from your vocabulary

Catastrophising - letting your thought process get to the worst possible outcome then taking that as the norm.

Emotional thinking - not involving logic

Jumping to conclusions

Black and white thinking

Can't think of anymore but if you can pick these up early enough you can cut them out before they ruin your day, hard to do tho

@matty1878
 
hallamblue said:
Update on mum. She's had a tracheostomy but has started doing some breathing on her own. We've said we will have Christmas in summer, fingers crossed she will make a good recovery.
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Unfortunately mum has had another setback. She was doing a lot of breathing on her own but has succumbed to a chest infection again as she is so weak. I traveled over from Sheffield and back to see her today and had a long chat with one of the doctors. For the first time they were talking about what might happen if things don't go right this time. Quality of life, secondary problems etc, basically she was close to refusing treatment but has agreed to give it another try. Things are looking fairly bleak for her. It's so hard to see a strong and dignified woman basically trapped in a failing body.
 
hallamblue said:
Unfortunately mum has had another setback. She was doing a lot of breathing on her own but has succumbed to a chest infection again as she is so weak. I traveled over from Sheffield and back to see her today and had a long chat with one of the doctors. For the first time they were talking about what might happen if things don't go right this time. Quality of life, secondary problems etc, basically she was close to refusing treatment but has agreed to give it another try. Things are looking fairly bleak for her. It's so hard to see a strong and dignified woman basically trapped in a failing body.
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Sorry to hear that mate
 

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