Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[COYBL25]

A sunbed once or twice a week helps abit i find..

Winter can be long cant it

Combined with some aerobic exercise too.

 

[YoboCopter]

I hate it. The dark evenings and then Christmas on top of. Next three months are the 3 I hate.

Yer i agree i dont hate it as such but i love summer..

Sun is shining, fit girls come from nowere, beer gardens, holidays

Winter-dark and cold

 

[COYBL25]

Yer i agree i dont hate it as such but i love summer..

Sun is shining, fit girls come from nowere, beer gardens, holidays

Winter-dark and cold

The thing with Winter, is that I find different things become more enjoyable.

Like going to the cinema and especially watching the footy in a cosy pub, with a decent pint.

I also sleep much much better too, due to it being pitch black for longer.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I wrote loads of things down and will take them to the occupational health meeting a week on Tuesday.

I'm not sure if 2 weeks is long enough. I had a horrible breakdown earlier. A man from Fetlife basically wanted me to do a session with him over Google Hangouts - I won't go into details, except to say that he wanted me to talk and read things to him, and repeat scripted lines he gave me, even though I repeatedly told him I hate my voice and am shy about reading aloud. The first time, I lost it and screamed my head off. Like, actually screamed. The second time, I hung on for longer, but when he sent me some erotica he wanted me to read, I couldn't do it properly because it was so stupid and unsexy. It was some stupid nurse fantasy, and I work in a hospital and then I had this horrible image in my head of me as a broken toy because I wasn't acting how I should, and I just started crying and crying and ranting about how I felt like a broken toy and that I should be sent back to the factory and melted down for parts, that I had no feelings or thoughts or desires of my own, that I wasn't even human. I'm crying just typing this. I was already a bit down after Pittsburgh, but this pushed me over the edge. He wanted me to participate in a kink I wasn't comfortable with. I just feel miserable and used. I disassociated a bit as well.

Two weeks worth of evidence is good. You can say it's typical of what you have been experiencing over a much longer period of time. If your employer has made the referral to Occ Health you are entitled to see what they have said prior to going to the referral - it may help you prepare for what they might want to ask you about.

I've no idea what Fetlife ( but I've guessed from subsequent posts) is. Don't ever do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You are not defined by what other people think of you. It's making you miserable and therefore isn't good for you. Aren't you supposed to get some enjoyment out of it too? Stop engaging with it for a while until you sort your other things out.

 

[arminisgod]

A sunbed once or twice a week helps abit i find..

Winter can be long cant it

I'd love to go on a sun bed... but anything cancer related sends me into huge anxiety issues. I have no idea why either! In fact it was a cancer scare that seemed to cause my breakdowns.

 

[goodisonopheliac]

Two weeks worth of evidence is good. You can say it's typical of what you have been experiencing over a much longer period of time. If your employer has made the referral to Occ Health you are entitled to see what they have said prior to going to the referral - it may help you prepare for what they might want to ask you about.

I've no idea what Fetlife ( but I've guessed from subsequent posts) is. Don't ever do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You are not defined by what other people think of you. It's making you miserable and therefore isn't good for you. Aren't you supposed to get some enjoyment out of it too? Stop engaging with it for a while until you sort your other things out.

Thanks. It's basically a site for kinky people. BDSM types and that sort of thing. You get all sorts on there, including a LOT of creepy men with no boundaries. I've made it clear what I will and won't do, but that won't put some people off. I've had people who want to meet me for sex, but turned them down because I'm terrified I'll be raped.

By two weeks, I mean I was signed off for 2 weeks. I'm very frightened of going back because there WILL be an atmosphere.

 

[Nymzee]

I'd love to go on a sun bed... but anything cancer related sends me into huge anxiety issues. I have no idea why either! In fact it was a cancer scare that seemed to cause my breakdowns.

I was hesitant to use them but they make me feel better and weirdly do wonders for the condition of my skin on top of the colour.

 

[JelavicBrate2]

I was listening to something earlier where they were discussing the reasons for men not coming forward and talking about mental health, the usual things really i.e. feeling ashamed, embarrassed or like it's some sort of slight on their masculinity. I've experienced a little bit of each when trying to talk about my feelings to different people but the one thing I find myself feel with all of them is that I'm a massive burden.

I generally don't talk to people about how things are going lately, they ask but I just change the subject so as not to sound like I'm moaning on. Things have been pretty crap and I can feel myself withdrawing more and more from things, I just refuse to burden people with my issues and it's not really doing me any favours. I don't really know what the answer is and I don't really know the point of this message, I guess it's to try and stop someone else from being like me and make sure no matter how much of a burden you feel people generally do want to help and you should open up to them. Now that's advice I should take myself, but I won't, and therein lies the problem.

If only I could hide an animal humping gif in the text above somewhere to lighten the mood, maybe that's where I need to concentrate my efforts. The gifs I mean, not humping animals...

I don't think it will change any time soon, I think a lot of the blame get's placed on men's attitudes, however I think women's attitudes towards men's mental health are even worse. I think a lot of women in the west still want a macho man, who conforms to this false concept of masculinity, I'd call hyper masculinity. I'd argue there's far more obsession with men going to the gym, doing dangerous sports than there was even 10 years ago. Personally I would and still would find it very difficult to talk to a woman my age about mental health, because I feel there's judgement. I haven't largely felt that, when visiting male psychologists.

 

[EFCPaul]

Really crap day in work.

Best work friend resigned in a strop, never got to say a proper goodbye or good luck.
The work itself is being changed around and made far more complicated for the sale of it by higher ups.
My bus home turns up 30 mins late, in this weather as well.

Really low mood at the moment.

 

[COYBL25]

Really crap day in work.

Best work friend resigned in a strop, never got to say a proper goodbye or good luck.
The work itself is being changed around and made far more complicated for the sale of it by higher ups.
My bus home turns up 30 mins late, in this weather as well.

Really low mood at the moment.

Can you get in touch with him / her, maybe go and have a drink and say you`re good byes ?

 

[efcforever]

Really crap day in work.

Best work friend resigned in a strop, never got to say a proper goodbye or good luck.
The work itself is being changed around and made far more complicated for the sale of it by higher ups.
My bus home turns up 30 mins late, in this weather as well.

Really low mood at the moment.

Time of year doesn't help mate. Rubbish weather and long nights.

As @COYBL25 says, try and get in touch with your mate.

 

[EFCPaul]

Thanks.

Yeah I've added said friend on social media, it will be nice to just keep them track of them because we got on and he the person left so suddenly (massive row with management, I didn't get involved). It's crap when someone you like and laughed with a lot just suddenly disappears without a trace from your life completely, work will be boring now. Hopefully I can keep them in view somewhat.

Going to the cinema to watch a late film, I don't want to just sit in the house ruminating until I have to go to bed. Going to go my own, I don't mind doing that and having the headspace will be good I think.

 

[coollino]

So, people asked for an update regarding me going back to my old place of work as opposed to taking a much higher paid job.

And it's gone great so far. Didn't think I hated my job before hand as much as I realise did now. My mood and outlook when home is so much more positive.

 

[goodisonopheliac]

I don't think it will change any time soon, I think a lot of the blame get's placed on men's attitudes, however I think women's attitudes towards men's mental health are even worse. I think a lot of women in the west still want a macho man, who conforms to this false concept of masculinity, I'd call hyper masculinity. I'd argue there's far more obsession with men going to the gym, doing dangerous sports than there was even 10 years ago. Personally I would and still would find it very difficult to talk to a woman my age about mental health, because I feel there's judgement. I haven't largely felt that, when visiting male psychologists.

I don't. In fact, a lot of us don't. Maybe the far right women who sneer at 'beta' men or whatever, but you'd be surprised about how many of us dislike macho types. I mean, I feel like a freak on this site because I don't want every single player in our squad to be Duncan Ferguson. I've always found it to be men about, ooh, 80% of the time who make comments about betas and cucks and whatnot. The idea that you have to be a Manly Man of Manliness or your wife will dump you. It happens on this very site. People get called cucks for not thinking Duncan Ferguson is a hero for lashing out at a fitness coach. Some of us would prefer a Phil Jagielka or a Leighton Baines in our lives, to use an Everton metaphor.

On the subject of Ferguson, that's why the obsession with passion winds me up, and how supporters get derided for not being passionate enough. Being passionate for me is dangerous. If carving '1995' into my leg and getting taken to hospital after carving up my arm after we lost to Atalanta isn't passion, I don't know what is. I've not self-harmed over Everton in a while though, West Ham being an exception, but I was in a foul mood anyway,

 

[Nymzee]

I don't. In fact, a lot of us don't. Maybe the far right women who sneer at 'beta' men or whatever, but you'd be surprised about how many of us dislike macho types. I mean, I feel like a freak on this site because I don't want every single player in our squad to be Duncan Ferguson. I've always found it to be men about, ooh, 80% of the time who make comments about betas and cucks and whatnot. The idea that you have to be a Manly Man of Manliness or your wife will dump you. It happens on this very site. People get called cucks for not thinking Duncan Ferguson is a hero for lashing out at a fitness coach. Some of us would prefer a Phil Jagielka or a Leighton Baines in our lives, to use an Everton metaphor.

On the subject of Ferguson, that's why the obsession with passion winds me up, and how supporters get derided for not being passionate enough. Being passionate for me is dangerous. If carving '1995' into my leg and getting taken to hospital after carving up my arm after we lost to Atalanta isn't passion, I don't know what is. I've not self-harmed over Everton in a while though, West Ham being an exception, but I was in a foul mood anyway,

I really hope you went to speak to someone professionally regarding the last paragraph.