Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

EFCPaul said:
Drank heavily last night, didn't feel very good so I went out and it has left me feeling worse to be honest. That's really crap because the past few weeks I'd been feeling mostly good but I feel very rubbish now. My moods can be ruined by the slightest thing. It says a lot when I can't wait to back to work tomorrow to get my mind off things.
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Agree with this, just thinking that money worries is normally my major trigger, I earn very good money but I'm living on credit cards, living costs and child maintenance are the main problems. People who are usually well are the "Its only money, life is too short" types but I need to keep a roof over my head.

Other triggers, believe it or not might be. Everton losing, waiting for a possible speeding ticket, something not right at work, new GF birthday coming up, what do I spend or do ??

Went shopping with my 15 yo daughter this weekend and bought her some bits for school, I can see me in her, she has anxiety and is glass half empty situation, I feel responsible and also sad as she seems to have accepted it when I want to shake her and say no, you can fight this, I wish I could give her my 49 yo advice to her 15 year old self, but I cant explain it to her.
 
Fletch said:
Agree with this, just thinking that money worries is normally my major trigger, I earn very good money but I'm living on credit cards, living costs and child maintenance are the main problems. People who are usually well are the "Its only money, life is too short" types but I need to keep a roof over my head.

Other triggers, believe it or not might be. Everton losing, waiting for a possible speeding ticket, something not right at work, new GF birthday coming up, what do I spend or do ??

Went shopping with my 15 yo daughter this weekend and bought her some bits for school, I can see me in her, she has anxiety and is glass half empty situation, I feel responsible and also sad as she seems to have accepted it when I want to shake her and say no, you can fight this, I wish I could give her my 49 yo advice to her 15 year old self, but I cant explain it to her.
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Hi mate, I've just finished this book and I can highly recommend it to all who come on here.

It's like an " anti " self help book and turns conventional self help stuff on its head.

It's very very funny and it's basic premise is that all human beings are inherently flawed and once we learn to accept our flaws and problems, we can all be much happier.

Hence the title lol
 
COYBL25 said:
View attachment 41125

Hi mate, I've just finished this book and I can highly recommend it to all who come on here.

It's like an " anti " self help book and turns conventional self help stuff on its head.

It's very very funny and it's basic premise is that all human beings are inherently flawed and once we learn to accept our flaws and problems, we can all be much happier.

Hence the title lol
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Looks good that, might pick it up myself
 
COYBL25 said:
View attachment 41125

Hi mate, I've just finished this book and I can highly recommend it to all who come on here.

It's like an " anti " self help book and turns conventional self help stuff on its head.

It's very very funny and it's basic premise is that all human beings are inherently flawed and once we learn to accept our flaws and problems, we can all be much happier.

Hence the title lol
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love the idea of this book!

It actually echoes one of the best bits of advice I got from therapy; when I was telling my counsellor about all the stress I have (from work particularly) she said "Have you thought about just caring less?" For some reason it really struck a chord. Ever since then, I've actively practicised the art of caring less (which, being pretty obsessive about doing work perfectly has been extremely hard), to the point that, this summer, my dad said to me "have things changed at work, it seems less stressed for you this summer" to which I replied "not really, same workload, I just don't give as much of a [Poor language removed]!" :celebrate:

He was shocked, but amused... :oops::D
 

Safc-mark-91 said:
You're right of course mate.

You're right, I just meant I didn't want to


As pathetic as this sounds I don't really have anyone to go with me. I've lost a lot of good friends (My fault for cutting myself off from social activities when I was at my worst - I just wanted to be alone and understandingly, they've assumed I was just being a bore) and there's no girlfriend. Doubt they'd touch me with a barge pole the state I'm in at the moment.

I used to really enjoy 5-a-side but the place we played at got closed down.

Think you're right I do need something to look forward to. As for your comment about age, I'm sure you're still a spring chicken yourself mate :);)
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I go on holiday alone all the time, and I love it- you get to choose your own agenda, and talk to people/ not talk depending on how you feel!

A couple of options though, if you'd rather have people around; tour companies like Intrepid Travel and GAdventures run trips that you can sign up to as a single person, and you can chose to share a room with a person of the same gender, or opt for a single if you prefer. I used to run those trips in Asia, and EVERY. SINGLE. TRIP had solo travellers on them, and they always had a great time as part of the group. Those kind of trips also offer you the freedom to wander off on your own if being in a group is too much- but max group size is usually 15, so you're never in tour bus hell.

Another option that I do a lot, is book a room through Airbnb, but one where you rent a room in someone's home- usually the people are super cool and chatty, you get a local's perspective, someone to have a bit of chat with each day, but the freedom to just go to your room and not have to chat if you don't want... perfect!
 
flippa said:
love the idea of this book!

It actually echoes one of the best bits of advice I got from therapy; when I was telling my counsellor about all the stress I have (from work particularly) she said "Have you thought about just caring less?" For some reason it really struck a chord. Ever since then, I've actively practicised the art of caring less (which, being pretty obsessive about doing work perfectly has been extremely hard), to the point that, this summer, my dad said to me "have things changed at work, it seems less stressed for you this summer" to which I replied "not really, same workload, I just don't give as much of a [Poor language removed]!" :celebrate:

He was shocked, but amused... :oops::D
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That's the premise of the book, its about learning to give a fcku about the right stuff.

Lots of it fly in the face of convention ;)
 
flippa said:
I go on holiday alone all the time, and I love it- you get to choose your own agenda, and talk to people/ not talk depending on how you feel!

A couple of options though, if you'd rather have people around; tour companies like Intrepid Travel and GAdventures run trips that you can sign up to as a single person, and you can chose to share a room with a person of the same gender, or opt for a single if you prefer. I used to run those trips in Asia, and EVERY. SINGLE. TRIP had solo travellers on them, and they always had a great time as part of the group. Those kind of trips also offer you the freedom to wander off on your own if being in a group is too much- but max group size is usually 15, so you're never in tour bus hell.

Another option that I do a lot, is book a room through Airbnb, but one where you rent a room in someone's home- usually the people are super cool and chatty, you get a local's perspective, someone to have a bit of chat with each day, but the freedom to just go to your room and not have to chat if you don't want... perfect!
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Some great advice there.

I've found from experience that the the stigma of going away by yourself is actually in your own head and that no one else actually cares that you're by yourself.

Pre kids, I loved going to the Lakes walking by myself, especially in the Autumn, when it was quieter there.
 
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Fletch said:
I went to Poole this year by myself, few days camping and mountain biking, I think you learn a lot about yourself. I'm going to order the book and try it.
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Completely agree with this. I'm well into photography and have been away on my own quite a few times to Snowdonia or the Lake District. End up out at 6am and up a mountain for sunrise. It doesn't half help calm the mind.
 
ShandyVanDerMeyde said:
Completely agree with this. I'm well into photography and have been away on my own quite a few times to Snowdonia or the Lake District. End up out at 6am and up a mountain for sunrise. It doesn't half help calm the mind.
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I think it puts things into persepctive, small piece in a huge world. I know this won't be easy for everyone, I know what its like to have a jumbled mind but if you can get five minutes quiet on your own, preferably outside and practice mindfulness.

We have a valeter that works at our place, I had a long chat with him about religion, he works 7 days a week just to put his sons through school in Nigeria, he said to me he doesnt drink or smoke, all his money goes to pay for his sons. He said ask yourself these three questions.

1. Who am i ?
2. Why am I here (on earth)
3. Where am I going

That was it, Ive been thinking about it every day for weeks, what my purpose is.
 
Fletch said:
I think it puts things into persepctive, small piece in a huge world. I know this won't be easy for everyone, I know what its like to have a jumbled mind but if you can get five minutes quiet on your own, preferably outside and practice mindfulness.

We have a valeter that works at our place, I had a long chat with him about religion, he works 7 days a week just to put his sons through school in Nigeria, he said to me he doesnt drink or smoke, all his money goes to pay for his sons. He said ask yourself these three questions.

1. Who am i ?
2. Why am I here (on earth)
3. Where am I going

That was it, Ive been thinking about it every day for weeks, what my purpose is.
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That book I've recommended at the top of the page is all about this mate.

However it doesn't do it in a hippy dippy preachy " you must " way, it's all about accepting your faults as a human being and learning to be at peace with them.

It's also very very humorous and self deprecating.

By the sounds of it you'd enjoy it and take a lot from it ;)
 

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