Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Spotty]

I'm going to mention something that I like to do at this time of year. I am not averse to mentioning this on a regular basis on this forum and it's not something I apologize for. The Christmas movie " It's a Wonderful Life " will be shown and I urge people - everyone - to watch it. Even if you have seen it before. The message of the movie is that WE ALL have something to offer. We ALL have a worth and dispite what me might think " I'm useless ", ' no one cares ' and " I won't be missed ". Let me tell you, we ALL have something to offer, to give to someone. Someone may be reliant on us, need us, be dependent on us for companionship, for support. Please, never forgot how invaluable we are to people. It may not be immiedietly apparent to you, but there are people out there COUNTING ON YOU YOU AND LOOKING FORWARD TO THEIR CONTACT AND ENGAGEMENT WITH YOU. Never forget that folks and view the movie if you can. IT IS VERY VERY LIFE AFFIRMING and you will enjoy it especially if you haven't seen it. Take care.

 

[Sassy Colombian]

Sorry for the late reply Sassy. Yes, it still hurts what happened with dad but my reflective moments don't last long thankfully. I'm very lucky having a job I love and frankly getting a thank you from the patients, or when relatives write a letter of thanks etc is to me the most fantastic feeling. The patients are you me, your dad or brother, partner or lover or someone's child, they are just people going through a rough patch like we all do it just gets a bit much for them Thanks for your kind words, your a kind hearted soul and frankly Sassy, if you've been blessed with a compassionate nature, then we should thank God for that. Take care luv

Now it is my time to apologise, Spotty. As I meant to answer back your post. That's great to hear that your moments of hurt don't last long and even better is to hear that you love your job, your profession is so demanding and stressful that one must have the devotion and love to work in this field and make a difference, and it clearly seems you do ?

 

[Sassy Colombian]

Yeah mate. I've had it all day today again "selfish, deluded, bitter, angry" the list goes on. Although I want to respond I've actually managed to control my emotions now because I know she wants me to bite. I just said "I'll drop our son off at 330pm. Have a wonderful day". She makes me sound like a kopite haha. I feel like I'm in control now. I have to remember it was these constant put downs that drove me to the brink before. But my life has improved a lot since she left.

@witchdoc187 I have been meaning to write a post to tell you how proud you should be of yourself for turning this situation around to your favor. Cheers mate and may your life continue improving. X

 

[witchdoc187]

@witchdoc187 I have been meaning to write a post to tell you how proud you should be of yourself for turning this situation around to your favor. Cheers mate and may your life continue improving. X

AHH thank you I appreciate that a lot. I'm writing this from in bed with my little boy fast asleep next to me and my dog asleep on my legs. Winning X

 

[Sassy Colombian]

AHH thank you I appreciate that a lot. I'm writing this from in bed with my little boy fast asleep next to me and my dog asleep on my legs. Winning X

Enjoy cuddling with your little one. You and your son are the well deserved winners. Buena noche!

 

[Sassy Colombian]

Sorry to hear. Minus the relationship, but had some health issues and they've turned my life upside down and 5 months in I'm accepting this is going to be a difficult period to get through. But your post really reminded me of my own situation. Have no interest or desire in much at the moment it's awful. I hope you can get through this quickly ?.

Now here's where I'll selfishly ramble about it because I've always tried to keep the side of me that gets down hidden, like I think most do. I think I've been actually depressed before, but this is much worse. When it's your own mortality it selfishly hits worse. I've always thought about death, it's always really freaked me out since I learned about it as a kid. I've mostly been able to build a decent amount of faith, and while my luck has been crappy a lot, I've really always gotten what I needed to get by or have had some good luck come through when things could get really bad if they didn't. I've been dealing with a pancreatic tumor which looks to not be cancerous thankfully (if it stays that way it really does fall into my life of having shitty good luck, but I'll take it).

But man, let me tell you. The thing that scares me most about death isn't not existing, I got over the nothingness. But the one thing that kills me is if it's it, never getting to have a single conversation, embrace or anything with my mom or brother. Like I don't need anyone else in whatever this is after all the stuff we got through.

I had a large group of friends because I had like no family. And after I was in and out the hospital for a couple months, keeping it to myself, but also like not really doing anything as I was always ill. I spent all my time at the hospital, and if it wasn't there it was work, then home. I'd go stay overnight in the hospital, get pain meds and fluids all night then leave ama to go to work so I don't lose my job.

It was hell, but going through this, and part of the reason I moved back here is because I felt I couldn't replicate the relationships I had with a good deal of people I had grew up with and helped/watched/saw the situation I grew up in. And I can't lie, I realized after my illness these relationships were only valued by me. I didn't get texts or calls from these people. No one wondered why I had fell off the face of the earth.

I had to tell my dude I grew up with 3 different times I was dealing with this pancreas stuff. Like this is a guy who I've been a groomsman in a couple weddings with. These aren't people who I just met at a bar and would drink with here and there.

Yet in the end, that's really all it was. Cause I had to quit drinking and in my case, like all but 3 or 4 friendships look like they're all done. That was difficult.

Anyways I'm done. If you read this hope you get something out of it. Honestly I write some other junk here and there. It's like the only outlet thing I have at the moment. So if you can find something like that, and just let yourself go in it. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad if it helps. Just keep it to yourself if it sucks, like I shoulda done with this.

Hey @Yank I just wanted to check on you, mate. Have you found out any news about the tumor? I hope GOT’s suspension is not having a bad effect on your mood and you will be returning soon. Thinking about you. X

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

Having one of those strange days today when I just feel inexplicably sad.

My eldest boy (8yo) is T1 diabetic and he deals with it amazingly well. Today, I’m just getting upset at how unfair it is on him and how frustrated I am at not being able to take it off him.

I don’t need help or advice, per se, I think I’m just writing this to get it out of my head and rationalise it for myself a bit.

I never like seeing on here “I know other people have it worse” or “my issue isn’t as serious as XYZ” because this is the kind of thing that happens to us all. Relatively minor issues, or issues you’ve been dealing with for years without too much incident can build up over time and at certain, seemingly random points in time it’ll just wallop us like a ton of bricks.

I know I’ll see him after school and I’ll get a big hug and all will feel right with my world again.

Please do pipe up on here if ever you’re feeling similar. Especially if you think your problems “aren’t a big deal” or you “don’t want to bother anyone.” I promise, just spilling your train of thought onto here helps a bit!!

 

[blue to the bone]

Having one of those strange days today when I just feel inexplicably sad.

My eldest boy (8yo) is T1 diabetic and he deals with it amazingly well. Today, I’m just getting upset at how unfair it is on him and how frustrated I am at not being able to take it off him.

I don’t need help or advice, per se, I think I’m just writing this to get it out of my head and rationalise it for myself a bit.

I never like seeing on here “I know other people have it worse” or “my issue isn’t as serious as XYZ” because this is the kind of thing that happens to us all. Relatively minor issues, or issues you’ve been dealing with for years without too much incident can build up over time and at certain, seemingly random points in time it’ll just wallop us like a ton of bricks.

I know I’ll see him after school and I’ll get a big hug and all will feel right with my world again.

Please do pipe up on here if ever you’re feeling similar. Especially if you think your problems “aren’t a big deal” or you “don’t want to bother anyone.” I promise, just spilling your train of thought onto here helps a bit!!

That's how I felt when I posted .
But as some one said your problems may seem small in the grand scheme of things but to you they are the only problems.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Still haven't got over my slump I posted about a few weeks back. Winter always affects me , Christmas isn't my favourite time either. Relationship won't be getting that back so just feel down most of the time.
If I could hibernate until February I would.

Same here, it's the dark mornings and dark evenings. Only a couple of weeks until it starts getting lighter. I would also like to hibernate. I would also quite enjoy eating all summer to keep my hibernating body going during winter!

 

[blueloon]

Same here, it's the dark mornings and dark evenings. Only a couple of weeks until it starts getting lighter. I would also like to hibernate. I would also quite enjoy eating all summer to keep my hibernating body going during winter!

I’m a runner and a great believer that getting out on those days when “ the sun is in my eyes’ really helps me through winter. Just going for a walk on a sunny winter day can help , and I deliberately walk towards the sun if I can .

 

[Bungle]

I was diagnosed with PTSD yesterday which was caused by childhood trauma, I've been treated for depression/anxiety for most of my adult life but nothing ever really felt like it got to the root of the problems, however I started some sessions with a new woman a few weeks ago and she's just about the best person I've ever spoken to about the issues.

I've always associated PTSD with the obvious things like soldiers coming back from conflicts or survivors of massive accidents, so I've never really explored it. This new persons explanation of childhood related PTSD have explained a lot about what's been going on with me for 25 years or more and it feels like both a massive relief but I'm also a bit gutted that it's never been mentioned before or that I didn't figure it out myself so it could be treated a lot earlier. Anyhow, my sessions with this new woman now stop so that I can be treated specifically for PTSD before I return to her, I suspect it'll be a difficult experience to re-live certain things but hopefully I come out the other end feeling better for it.

Just to follow up on this, I had my first session yesterday and it was mostly running through what the sessions will consist of and introducing me to the treatment they have planned. It sounds like it's going to be a far more comprehensive treatment than anything I've ever had before so here's hoping it goes well.

All of the things they said they would be addressing are the things that have caused me the biggest issues so it's good to know they've got a reasonable understanding of the problems as that hasn't always been the case. Will report back once I'm a few sessions in if they've not unearthed some horrendous memories and I'm not a quivering wreck.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

Just to follow up on this, I had my first session yesterday and it was mostly running through what the sessions will consist of and introducing me to the treatment they have planned. It sounds like it's going to be a far more comprehensive treatment than anything I've ever had before so here's hoping it goes well.

All of the things they said they would be addressing are the things that have caused me the biggest issues so it's good to know they've got a reasonable understanding of the problems as that hasn't always been the case. Will report back once I'm a few sessions in if they've not unearthed some horrendous memories and I'm not a quivering wreck.

Great to hear it’s been such a promising start. Hopefully it’s a sign of things to come and you make good progress.

 

[Spotty]

Just to follow up on this, I had my first session yesterday and it was mostly running through what the sessions will consist of and introducing me to the treatment they have planned. It sounds like it's going to be a far more comprehensive treatment than anything I've ever had before so here's hoping it goes well.

All of the things they said they would be addressing are the things that have caused me the biggest issues so it's good to know they've got a reasonable understanding of the problems as that hasn't always been the case. Will report back once I'm a few sessions in if they've not unearthed some horrendous memories and I'm not a quivering wreck.

Bungle you allude to a popular misconception about PTSDll and it only being applicable to " soldiering " and any other experiences whilst in uniform. Trauma is a physical or mental - response to an event. That response often has a very debilitating affect on our life. I work with a lot of people who have experienced physical or sexual abuse as a child, or adult for that matter. Experiencing such a thing and " coping " is for many, a long term process. People often have very different ways of coping, from ignoring it, to extreme behaviours which help people to cope. It's is very easy for us to judge people but we don't know what " works " for people. One of my patients used cocaine, not as a recreational drug, but in her words " Terry, it's the only thing that helps me forget !" The big ethical dilemma in PTSD is that there are many who are interventionist, someone who has been abused must receive a therapeutic intervention because it's the only way to deal and cope with past experiences. I believe you can't " force " people to start " work " into getting to the root of their problems, it must be the person wanting to address their problem because in doing so, they to relive some horrific traumatic experience. It is not easy and can be a lengthy on going process that in fact can't ' cure " people, but does help people understand their trauma and experiences more. A good therapist will discuss with you expectations, what therepy consists of and that it will be an ongoing life long therepeutic commitment. In closing people, you have to want to seek help and be aware of what it entails and the pros and cons off the process, and that it is not always " successfully ". I will close by saying this. Who are we as Mental Health Professionals to say to someone " you will definitely need this to help you cope with your PTSD. ! ". because frankly, there are no certainties when it comes to affairs of the mind. I recall someone saying to me: " I'm in a house, an empty house, I go in and go upstairs, turn left into my bedroom. In the corner of my room is a closet. I walk inside the closet and there in the corner, is a small wooden box. Inside that box, I have put all my memories, all of my bad memories. And the memories stay there and I'm happy for that. I very rarely open the box, I don't even go into the house and visit it very rarely because when I do, it hurts and upsets me. I'm happy with that, I can cope and don't even feel the need to even think about opening that box ".

I hope I have made some sense and apologies in advance if I have " rambled " on. Take care.

 

[Spotty]

Just to follow up on this, I had my first session yesterday and it was mostly running through what the sessions will consist of and introducing me to the treatment they have planned. It sounds like it's going to be a far more comprehensive treatment than anything I've ever had before so here's hoping it goes well.

All of the things they said they would be addressing are the things that have caused me the biggest issues so it's good to know they've got a reasonable understanding of the problems as that hasn't always been the case. Will report back once I'm a few sessions in if they've not unearthed some horrendous memories and I'm not a quivering wreck.

Bungle I'm pleased you chosen to seek help. I'm sure it is going to be helpfull and your therapeutic team seem to have a good grasp of what my ay be beneficial for you. Remember, it's at your own pace and that it's ok to take stock and reflect. Good luck with everything buddy.

 

[Bungle]

Bungle you allude to a popular misconception about PTSDll and it only being applicable to " soldiering " and any other experiences whilst in uniform. Trauma is a physical or mental - response to an event. That response often has a very debilitating affect on our life. I work with a lot of people who have experienced physical or sexual abuse as a child, or adult for that matter. Experiencing such a thing and " coping " is for many, a long term process. People often have very different ways of coping, from ignoring it, to extreme behaviours which help people to cope. It's is very easy for us to judge people but we don't know what " works " for people. One of my patients used cocaine, not as a recreational drug, but in her words " Terry, it's the only thing that helps me forget !" The big ethical dilemma in PTSD is that there are many who are interventionist, someone who has been abused must receive a therapeutic intervention because it's the only way to deal and cope with past experiences. I believe you can't " force " people to start " work " into getting to the root of their problems, it must be the person wanting to address their problem because in doing so, they to relive some horrific traumatic experience. It is not easy and can be a lengthy on going process that in fact can't ' cure " people, but does help people understand their trauma and experiences more. A good therapist will discuss with you expectations, what therepy consists of and that it will be an ongoing life long therepeutic commitment. In closing people, you have to want to seek help and be aware of what it entails and the pros and cons off the process, and that it is not always " successfully ". I will close by saying this. Who are we as Mental Health Professionals to say to someone " you will definitely need this to help you cope with your PTSD. ! ". because frankly, there are no certainties when it comes to affairs of the mind. I recall someone saying to me: " I'm in a house, an empty house, I go in and go upstairs, turn left into my bedroom. In the corner of my room is a closet. I walk inside the closet and there in the corner, is a small wooden box. Inside that box, I have put all my memories, all of my bad memories. And the memories stay there and I'm happy for that. I very rarely open the box, I don't even go into the house and visit it very rarely because when I do, it hurts and upsets me. I'm happy with that, I can cope and don't even feel the need to even think about opening that box ".

I hope I have made some sense and apologies in advance if I have " rambled " on. Take care.

Appreciate it mate, it all makes sense and a lot of it is relevant to me so I'm thankful for the insight.

We'll see how the next few weeks go and I'll report back