Gardening with Joey

[chrismpw]

The Amazon rainforest is the lungs of the planet. Very little lawn grass there.

I'm sure the planet will survive without my few square meters of very patchy grass.

But when everyone too lazy to mow ten square metres of grass has done the same?

*the amazon is being decimated so that the yanks, one of the wealthiest nations in the planet, can eat cheap burgers. Every bit of vegetation counts.

 

[degsy]

Someone has given me a pack of low fat tomato seeds. I’ve got a big sheet of polythene and live on an extremely windy ridge. My watering can is knackered and my soil is mostly clay. A massive slug infestation and recent locust plague has devastated the locality. Please advise.

Make bricks with the clay

 

[Groucho]

With lots of people now having more time to get out in the garden @Joey66 has been in his element dishing out invaluable advice.

Ask Joey your gardening questions here and tag @COYBL25 at the same time so that he can translate Joey's response.

I'll go first. Joey, please advise what would be best to bury my teenage son under or should I compost him? Any advice that avoids further criminal convictions would be welcome.

Perhaps "Cottagers Question Time" would be a better thread?

 

[Joey66]

Can u eat grass if rlly ungry?

Cows do also their appendix is the main organ to help the process of digesting grass , and producing milk in a human being the appendix does nothing ......you can live without one ...... no function for it at all .....

 

[Joey66]

Perhaps "Cottagers Question Time" would be a better thread?

I know one thing not been able to post many Everton photos today lol all good banter though nice to see......

 

[jaycee]

Cows do also their appendix is the main organ to help the process of digesting grass , and producing milk in a human being the appendix does nothing ......you can live without one ...... no function for it at all .....

I reckon you're blagging there Joey,you trying to get a free appendix ?

 

[Joey66]

Part of my low maintenance landscaped garden in spring colour all year around -

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Can u eat grass if rlly ungry?

Were you so hungry you started eating the keys on your keyboard Neil?

 

[Paris]

I've literally just cut my grass half an hour ago. It's fairly yellow and patchy after a winter of neglect. @Joey66 what would you recommend to put on it to make it look like the fairways of Augusta?

View attachment 84023

I don't know about gardening mate but you might want to put in that missing fence panel to stop the neighbour from perving on your missus. You never know where @Bungle could be.

Perhaps "Cottagers Question Time" would be a better thread?

Cottaging is a wonderful pastime. I recommend it.

 

[Groucho]

I don't know about gardening mate but you might want to put in that missing fence panel to stop the neighbour from perving on your missus. You never know where @Bungle could be.

Replace it? Then how would he peep in?

 

[Bungle]

Part of my low maintenance landscaped garden in spring colour all year around -
View attachment 84039

 

[Joey66]

I reckon you're blagging there Joey,you trying to get a free appendix ?

They are usually at the back of a book.....

 

[Simon Buttle]

He is only allowed to prune any branches that grow over your fence - skunk will not grow outside in our climate ......

Yes it does, most indica strains will grow outdoors in this country, i have done plenty of outdoor grows in the past, it's quite hard work though keeping all the deer,rabbits and other little beasts away though, much less hassle indoors.

 

[orly]

Yes it does, most indica strains will grow outdoors in this country, i have done plenty of outdoor grows in the past, it's quite hard work though keeping all the deer,rabbits and other little beasts away though, much less hassle indoors.

Good to have someone knowledgeable aboard buddy

 

[Simon Buttle]

Good to have someone knowledgeable aboard buddy

Used to be quite active on a grow website called UK420 back in the day, it got shut down for some reason lol