Jokes Thread

[summerisle]

'A British Gas repair man asked me for the time. I said it's between 8am and 5pm.' © Les Dawson.

 

[Joey66]

 

[Joey66]

 

[Joey66]

No wonder most men don find it - Its on a ruddy roundabout in Hampshire -

 

[BNJ1878]

View attachment 97680

Just to let you know, I had the Russian Covid19 vaccination yesterday and can tell you there are absolutely no negative sideffski efectovski secundariosvki Кто может это прочитать Обожаю Владимира Путина!

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery.... She was in charge of the hops!

 

[TippEverton]

 

[summerisle]

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

I once saw a Pretenders tribute band. That was confusing........

 

[-Rob-]

I once saw a Pretenders tribute band. That was confusing........

I once saw a U2 tribute band.
Even better than the real thing.

 

[kev]

I once saw a Pretenders tribute band. That was confusing........

I once saw a U2 tribute band.
Even better than the real thing.

I saw a tribute band for The Real Thing . . . . . . . . . . . as it turned out they weren't

 

[summerisle]

 

[-Rob-]

George's wife Betty, being the romantic sort, sent George a text:
"If you sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you!"
George typically a non-romantic, replied,
"I am on the toilet. Please advise?"

 

[Blue 1]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.

Coincidence? WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

 

[summerisle]

Do magicians make ta da lists ?