Jokes Thread

[notrevE5]

A girl in a night club confidently mingling and strutting around the floor, on her front around the crotch area is a stick-on sign that's reads
" I would do anything for love" turn around and on her rear end is another stick-on sign that reads " But I won't do that"

 

[Milk]

Just received an email that promises if I click the link, I will be able to read maps backwards.

I think its spam.

 

[Kurt.]

2 Irish men playing bingo …. Caller shouts out 22…… Murphy says “you’ve got that paddy, mark it off” …. Caller shouts out 77…. Murphy says “you got that too paddy, mark it off”….. caller shouts out 28 .. Murphy says “ look paddy, you’ve got that too” … paddy says “Murphy why don’t you play yer own feckin card ?”

Murphy replied “ cos mines full up”

 

[Milk]

I just caught my foreskin in the zip...





That's the last time I wear zip up boots

 

[Sarnia Kevin]

 

[Sarnia Kevin]

 

[Sarnia Kevin]

 

[Joey66]

I always wanted to learn to play the guitar when I was young , but the lessons were Alway too expensive - I saw an advert so cheap in my local paper I paid in advance as it stated no strings attached with a big build up in the advert I went down the - no ruddy strings on the guitar

 

[davep]

Christ that took me ages.

Spoiler

Helps to remember that some ppl actually keep their car in the garage!

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

I always wanted to learn to play the guitar when I was young , but the lessons were Alway too expensive - I saw an advert so cheap in my local paper I paid in advance as it stated no strings attached with a big build up in the advert I went down the - no ruddy strings on the guitar

Air guitar lessons mate....

 

[davep]

I always wanted to learn to play the guitar when I was young , but the lessons were Alway too expensive - I saw an advert so cheap in my local paper I paid in advance as it stated no strings attached with a big build up in the advert I went down the - no ruddy strings on the guitar

It's the delivery that makes it so good.

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

​

A man is walking in the woods, when he finds a suitcase.
He opens the suitcase and inside are three foxes. So he calles emergency services and says
"I just found three foxes in a suitcase. What should I do?"
"Well," the operator said, "Are they moving?"
"I don't know," he said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

 

[summerisle]

 

[Kurt.]

I always wanted to learn to play the guitar when I was young , but the lessons were Alway too expensive - I saw an advert so cheap in my local paper I paid in advance as it stated no strings attached with a big build up in the advert I went down the - no ruddy strings on the guitar

Pluck me

 

[Joey66]

Pluck me

No thanks lol