Strange or funny things which happened in work

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Back in my electrician days, we were to go and do a rewire of a house on an estate so it was attached to a house on either side, we were told that the back door would be left unlocked and to come through and open the front.. so the appreciate was sent around to open up, on he went and came out of the neighbors house looked around and said "how did that happen?" "I was wondering why the door was locked I got in through the sitting room window that was open". The boss went supernova screaming at him, a few minutes later an old woman in her dressing gown came out terrified after calling 999 to report a break in and started giving out to the boss.. me and another work mate were bent in 2 laughing, then the 3 of them turned on us for laughing
 

Years ago when I was an apprentice painter and decorator we were working on offices in Lime street station, the foreman who was an absolute bar steward used to park his van in the far corner of the car park with the passenger side right up near by the wall. One day a couple of the lads stuck porno pics all over the passenger side of the van, hard core legs open stuff, well he drove home and came in the next day going absolutely ballistic, said he wondered why everyone was beeping and pointing haha. He lived in Frodsham too
 

Said to one lad the works night out was fancy dress.
He turned up like an American gangster with violin case....
But he got the last laugh, all the ladies felt sorry for him.
 
A whipper snapper started at our place, full of beans, mouthy little runt.
Questioned everybody's sexuality, so we said watch xxxx he really is.
So the lad laughed and continued his tirades.
One day amongst piles of rubbish the young lad fell and xxxx fell on top of him and said I've got you now gis a kiss.
The young lad turned white and was close too tears fought him off and ran away.
Never questioned anyone after that.
 
Back when i worked for a frozen food supermarket that sold prawn rings & chicken nuggets we had a new starter who was here for education stuff from South Africa & wanted a part time job. He was late teens & quite strong so we put him on the freezer section mainly working in the coldroom out back which was about half the size of a tennis court & sits around -23 degrees. After about 20 minutes of his first training session in the coldroom he had to step out due to the temperature. I told him i would be out in a sec as i wanted to finish putting that pallet away into shelving. I finish then step out to check on him & what i found was him standing there with his trousers around his thighs & him pulling his boxers forward looking very worried because he was concerned his penis was disappearing. He quit the same day. On his work file i had to log his reason for leaving & simply put "penis shrinkage".
 
If you know any mechanics you will notice that they usually end up with some spare nuts, bolts and washers after doing a job. Rather than throw them away the mechanics keep the oddments in case they are needed for another repair. Over the years the collections can get quite large.

We had an older mechanic who had quite a large plastic tub/container full of bits and bobs and he seemed to be quite proud of his not-refitted-back-on-the-car-they-came-off collection, looks a bit like this......


abstract-background-various-screws-nuts-bolts-washers-other-fasteners-macro-pile-old-metal-pro...jpg

So when he went on holiday for a week, the other lads emptied his container, cut around the inside of the base, rested and secured the sides back and proceeded to refill with all the crap.

When he came back to work, later on that day the lads 'decided' to have a bench cleaning session, so of course the older mechanic grabs the sides of his big plastic tub and heaves it up (knowing how heavy it was)

Not sure which surprised him more, nearly snotting himself in the face with what was just the sides of his tub, or the 1,000's of his washers, nut bolts and bits scattering in all directions

Cruel place the motor trade

Stuff is always funnier when you are there rather than describing it years later on a forum, so not sure if any would be funny enough to post, also I don't want to spam the thread, but I probably have about 30 or so situations that have happened over the years, things such as.....

The Toilet Tippers
The Chief Constable is not Happy
The Cure of the Masturbating Apprentice
Where Does this Bit Go ?
The Flying Lotus
The Birthday Stripper
Gearbox vs Face
That's not my number plate !
Customer Gets Blackeared
Your Gay Porn Mag has Arrived
My Parrot is Dead
MOT Testing Jinks
Bonnet on the Roof
It's Snowing in my Jaguar !
The Accountants Daughter is a Dominatrix
Box him up and send him away !
Captain Gough and the Mystery Mileage
Why does the car Smell so bad ?

The 80's & 90's in the motor trade was interesting at times......

Let me know if you want me to keep posting
 
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While working on Wembley Stadium (which was an absolute shambles of a project) the site was shut down for day due to a perceived threat of Russian snipers taking out the crane operators. Few weeks later The Scum ‘newspaper’ sneaked a load of page 3 models onto site for artistic photo shoots with the workforce.
 
random said:
If you know any mechanics you will notice that they usually end up with some spare nuts, bolts and washers after doing a job. Rather than throw them away the mechanics keep the oddments in case they are needed for another repair. Over the years the collections can get quite large.

We had an older mechanic who had quite a large plastic tub/container full of bits and bobs and he seemed to be quite proud of his not-refitted-back-on-the-car-they-came-off collection, looks a bit like this......


View attachment 114205

So when he went on holiday for a week, the other lads emptied his container, cut around the inside of the base, rested and secured the sides back and proceeded to refill with all the crap.

When he came back to work, later on that day the lads 'decided' to have a bench cleaning session, so of course the older mechanic grabs the sides of his big plastic tub and heaves it up (knowing how heavy it was)

Not sure which surprised him more, nearly snotting himself in the face with what was just the sides of his tub, or the 1,000's of his washers, nut bolts and bits scattering in all directions

Cruel place the motor trade

Stuff is always funnier when you are there rather than describing it years later on a forum, so not sure if any would be funny enough to post, also I don't want to spam the thread, but I probably have about 30 or so situations that have happened over the years, things such as.....

The Toilet Tippers
The Chief Constable is not Happy
The Cure of the Masturbating Apprentice
Where Does this Bit Go ?
The Flying Lotus
The Birthday Stripper
Gearbox vs Face
That's not my number plate !
Customer Gets Blackeared
Your Gay Porn Mag has Arrived
My Parrot is Dead
MOT Testing Jinks
Bonnet on the Roof
It's Snowing in my Jaguar !
The Accountants Daughter is a Dominatrix
Box him up and send him away !
Captain Gough and the Mystery Mileage
Why does the car Smell so bad ?

The 80's & 90's in the motor trade was interesting at times......

Let me know if you want me to keep posting
Click to expand...
YES PLEASE!!!!!
 
My first job - lab tech in the pathology lab of a hospital. After a man has vasectomy he has to provide 3 clear sperm samples to make sure that there are no swimmers in what they are producing. The instructions were, in those days, bring one sample every 30 days so we could look at it microscopically and see if it was clear. In an ideal world the man would be able to have sex and not make babies after 3 months. One poor bloke misunderstood the instructions and provided us with a jar in which he had collected one sample every day for 30 days. Kept it in the fridge until the 30 days were up.
 
Worked in a supermarket years ago and just before I left at Christmas I made an error with a beer order. Got called into the already jam packed warehouse and was greeted with the sight of 12 pallets of Skol lager being dragged in.
 
The Toilet Tippers
(mid 1990's)

So all the managers get sent to a corporate weekend, we had to shoot each other with paintball guns, climb up walls, do obstacle courses and generally mess about. It wasn't so bad to be honest, there was loads of barrels of beer and some meat carcasses going round on spits. Evening of day one we are having a boozed up game of 25 a side footy, and the Chief Exec of the company fancied himself as a bit of a striker, no idea who the Chief supported but he thought he was a boss slotter. He was dancing through our midfield, and I think most of them let him because they were after a promotion or something I dunno, anyway came up to me playing a sort of centre back/can't be bothered to run position, he did some sort of twirl like he was either going to pass to someone or waltz past me like prime Zidane, unfortunately for him

1. I had no respect for rank
2. had a bit to drink
3. thought I deserved more money

So I put a reducer on him.

Fortunately for him (and me) he didn't need stretchering off, although it did take two to help him hobble off the pitch to the 1st aid tent. Nothing broken, but his goal scoring days were over for a while. Have some of that.

We were all supposed to sleep 10 or so in these army tents, however the 1st manager who went to sleep in his sleeping bag was woken up by a few buckets of water taken from the lake by a few of his comrades, so it ended up that 60/70 boozed up and aching managers daren't sleep in case they got the buckets of water treatment, to be fair some got it anyway if their backs were turned at the wrong time to the wrong person.


So that's the scenario we are dealing with, animals camouflaged as managers, now for the Toilet Tipper part of the story....


Early doors on day one, we are all split into teams, shoved into life jackets and given a load of....

Plastic Barrels, scaffold boards and rope.
d210p08082018084456_lrg.jpg download.jpg rope-guide.png

instructions are to build a raft and get to the other side of the lake before the other teams do.

Dunno about you lot but my raft building skills are to put it mildly, non-existent, so I was quite happy to watch the others in my team discuss designs etc and also who was to be in charge of the team.

So there are a load of managers in each team, all of them used to giving orders, practically coming to blows as to who was in charge and who knew the most about rafts.

Anyways, one team in particular had a guy who fancied himself as a modern day Robinson Crusoe and eventually brow-beat the others into doing it his way, everyone could see the resentment building except the guy facing the mutiny. Totally oblivious to it and too busy bossing the others about in a managerial way, he is not the sort to garner dissent in the ranks, no sir.

The rafts (?) eventually start getting launched and folks are paddling like crazy to get to the other side, it was all in vain though because as soon as a team got in front, members from the other teams swam to the leading raft and started undoing/ vandalising/tipping it over, in the end we just gave the race up as a bad job. Not sure what the instructor fellas made of it all, we were a bit savage tbf.

So there you go, one manager who had nine others in his team who wanted to string him up by the gonads, added to the fact that he was an expert marksman, rock climber whatever and had to tell 'his' team how to do stuff all day, something was definitely going to blow, we tried to keep watching it in case someone gave him a straightener. He was taking it a bit seriously, the rest of us were just arsing about and having a laugh.

The only 'luxury' we had was portaloos o_O to save crapping all over the place. Anyway Mr Popular who was still oblivious to the hatred stemming from his team has to pay a visit to one of the portaloos. Once this was noticed by his crew they proceeded to wait until he was settled then mob-handed tipped up the potty complete with him in it, they then scattered amongst the rest of us and pretended like nothing had happened.

They were nice and didn't push it over onto the door so he was trapped in it, but even so it was quite a while before he appeared, I was wondering if he was ever going to re-appear tbh. It was not a pretty sight when he did emerge and wasn't sure if he was going to kill someone or himself. Anyways he bolts to the lake and launches himself in to try and clean off the sewage/chemical mix.

A full and thorough investigation was carried out but unfortunately despite there being 50+ people in the area at the time nothing untoward was noticed.

Good Times........
 
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