Summer Transfer Window 2019

Everton's Transfer Window

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OK, had £3 worth of Pic n mix this morning so I'm sugared up to the tits and ready to give you your alternative transfer news before I slip into a diabetic coma.

As per usual, lets start with outgoings and current players;

First off we have Oumar Niasse, he seems to have attracted absolutely no interest at all from rival clubs and in a last ditch attempt to sell him we've got him to dye his hair Zaha orange to fool clubs into bidding £60m. Unfortunately he hasn't got the required length (hair or penis) to pull this off <enter kenneth wilson gif> and it appears he'll be here for the foreseeable future.

Cenk Tosun appears to be another forward attracting no interest and we can't even give him away to tin pot Turkish teams, he too made an attempt to grow his hair but this has proved to be about as successful as his Everton career. He has however been offered a job collecting trolleys at the his local supermarket and at this stage in his career this would seem a good move.

Early last week it was looking like we may be able to shift James McCarthy, unfortunately the sun came out and James didn't fair too well in the heat with his complexion and cleaners at Finch Farm were seen scooping up ashes and a pile of nuts and bolts that were believed to be James on Thursday afternoon as temperatures soared.

Now onto the more exciting news, the incomings;

Wilfired Zaha, or to give him his full name Wilfried Yannick Zaha continues to be linked with a big money move to Everton, reports suggest that a bid has been rejected partly because we tried to include Cenk Tosun in the deal and they were unwilling to accept such an embarrassing hairline. He has also started following another Everton target on Instagram which further fuelled these rumours, however our correspondent @MarcelsGoat confirmed that this was purely accidental and he was searching for @Keen_Moyes as he fancied having another go on David Moyes daughter.

Moise Kean appears to be edging closer to a move to Everton as we appear to be in the final stages of negotiation with Juventus. These negotiations began shortly after Kean's conception but the finer details of the deal meant that it's taken time to conclude. He has recently started following Wilfried Zaha on instagram, only to find out that it was in fact Oumar Niasse.

News of Jean-Philippe Gbamin's imminent arrival have gone quiet after he witnessed first hand his potential new team over the weekend, he commented that he thought Wilfried Zaha was poor up front for us, however he applauded the decision to give a work experience student the chance to fulfil his dream by running out for us but stated that he didn't really think football was for Dominic.

That's pretty much it for this lacklustre effort, the sugar hit has started to die off and I suspect my vital organs soon will as well.
 
Zatara said:
If they get the same number of games i see him easily outscoring Zaha...EASILY.
Click to expand...

Maybe. But it's no sure thing.

There's nothing wrong at all if we get both. They're both statement signings in their own right but most importantly they improve us massively in areas we are still weak in.

I love Bernard, Gylfi and Rich, but we can't be relying on them all to stay fit and fully in-form all season and not have another option.

You throw Zaha into that mix and suddenly that's an attack capable of threatening the top six at least, if not getting there. Kean and DCL are both young, both raw and both offer different things in terms of playing style. The most important thing is they aren't starved of service and if one or both of them are struggling, we don't have to flog them all season because they're our only options.
 

Zatara said:
sportwitness.co.uk

Everton now in 'final stages' of talks for €40m signing - Agent and player also keen - Sport Witness

There were mixed messages coming out of Italy at the weekend over Everton signing Moise Kean from Juventus. It’s a transfer rumour which has been running for a few weeks now, and whilst at first it may have felt unlikely, with a stay at Juventus and potential loan then seeming the obvious...
sportwitness.co.uk sportwitness.co.uk


Apparently Juve have now said they want to be given an option to match any acceptable offers for Kean we may receive in future.

1st option if you will...
Click to expand...

Could be the type of clause that opens the door for other clubs to show more interest as well Zat.
 
don't give up on Zouma yet, lots of Chelsea fans criticising him for his display against Reading saying Chelsea should have taken the money from EFC.
 
I will stress that if we don't get Zaha I won't be devastated.

But if he comes in he'll be a good signing. We'll only pay what we think he's worth.

But would I be more confident heading into the season with Zaha than say, Malcom? Absolutely.
 
brian labone said:
don't give up on Zouma yet, lots of Chelsea fans criticising him for his display against Reading saying Chelsea should have taken the money from EFC.
Click to expand...

That one will go to the wire, I'm convinced.

Whether we get him or not... it's looking more likely not at this point.

But as long as we have an alternative lined up and ready to go, I'm not too concerned.
 

BlueToff said:
Maybe. But it's no sure thing.

There's nothing wrong at all if we get both. They're both statement signings in their own right but most importantly they improve us massively in areas we are still weak in.

I love Bernard, Gylfi and Rich, but we can't be relying on them all to stay fit and fully in-form all season and not have another option.

You throw Zaha into that mix and suddenly that's an attack capable of threatening the top six at least, if not getting there. Kean and DCL are both young, both raw and both offer different things in terms of playing style. The most important thing is they aren't starved of service and if one or both of them are struggling, we don't have to flog them all season because they're our only options.
Click to expand...

I see Kean as a proper statement signing. Were close to taking one of, if not THE best u21 player in Italy off Juventus.

Id probably lose it if we signed Tonali as well ;)


LouReedwalkonthewildside said:
Could be the type of clause that opens the door for other clubs to show more interest as well Zat.
Click to expand...

Only if we receive an 'acceptable' bid do we then contact Juve.
 
BlueToff said:

Getty Images

Getty Images. Find high resolution royalty-free images, editorial stock photos, vector art, video footage clips and stock music licensing at the richest image search photo library online.
www.gettyimages.no

Yes mate. I remember seeing that pic at work ages ago while searching for a picture for a story I was working on
Click to expand...
how do we know someone hasn't photoshopped him into an Italian shirt after seeing him in the Everton one? :)
 

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