Anyone having a worse day than me?

[Dixieslaces]

Even Tesco know

 

[The binman chronicles]

By 10 o'clock tonight most likely we'll all feel we've had something inserted into our arses sideways.

 

[Littlesue]

Bless, hope you feel better soon, I can recommend sitting on a bag of frozen peas xxx

 

[Eggs]

….this came to mind;

 

[Tommy Chong]

@chrismpw Just don't ask anyone one to pull your finger mate.

 

[BlueandWhite]

You'll struggle to find a more effective medication or substance on this earth than the stuff you need to neck before that procedure.

Give it half an hour, I'm sure that's what I read on the packet. Wrong. 5 minutes max and it began. Fast forward 6 or 7 hours and the only time I'd left the throne was to neck the second dose of it. Phone charger cable threaded under the door to give me something to do while I turned inside out.

When it finally subsided a long steaming hot shower to try and feel almost human again, then bed for a night of starvation.

Next morning you're in a gown with a flap on the back to give a man who's made some very questionable career choices easier access to slide a camera up.

About from that it's not bad. Enjoy.

 

[Kurt.]

A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.

You lucky lucky fella xx

 

[Kurt.]

Don’t fall for the trick where they ask if you want the area numbing first



always check who’ll be doing the numb numb numbing

 

[verreauxi]

A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.

The prep is the worst, but it will be the best nap you ever had.

 

[summerisle]

Ronnie O'sullivan's opponent at the moment.

 

[TGW89]

A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.

Could be worse. You could be Edward Blampied or any of his devout followers. He was a youtuber I followed because of his excellent Rik Mayall / Ade Edmondson tribute act.

Yesterday, he was outed as a convicted nonce in the papers. 500+ indecent images including 44 cat A. Of course, I had no moral choice but to unsubscribe - not that he'll ever dare to release new material again.

So I'm getting a small taste of how boomers felt when Saville, Hall, Harris and Glitter were outed. At least it's not the actual Rik Mayall though. That would legit destroy me.

 

[tim gabbott]

Let’s hope the lads PILE into the red shiiite tonight

 

[blue61]

A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.

Had that procedure twice, once with a sedative, once without. If you go without, be sure to suck in that gas and air when they turn a corner! The silver lining is the cheese butty and cup of tea at the end. Oh, and don't forget to watch it on the monitor, great viewing .

 

[chrismpw]

Right .... starting the "cleansing" routine. Seconds out, round one.

 

[ste d' indica]

You'll struggle to find a more effective medication or substance on this earth than the stuff you need to neck before that procedure.

Give it half an hour, I'm sure that's what I read on the packet. Wrong. 5 minutes max and it began. Fast forward 6 or 7 hours and the only time I'd left the throne was to neck the second dose of it. Phone charger cable threaded under the door to give me something to do while I turned inside out.

When it finally subsided a long steaming hot shower to try and feel almost human again, then bed for a night of starvation.

Next morning you're in a gown with a flap on the back to give a man who's made some very questionable career choices easier access to slide a camera up.

About from that it's not bad. Enjoy.