kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
Keep telling yourself when you are away that it's the last time so be patient.
Nobody deserves to feel how you do.
Great to see you have found a professional you are comfortable speaking with too
Nobody deserves to feel how you do.
Great to see you have found a professional you are comfortable speaking with too
That's good advice, I'll try and keep that thought with me. I've already been excited for the day I'm back!
Yeah, as I said before though, I'm apprehensive about going back! But I suppose it's just uncomfortable to think about. I'm going to uni in September so might try to seek help through there too, as mentioned a few posts ago. I had that thought a few months back and thought I'd wait it out but couldn't wait any longer!
Yeah, as I said before though, I'm apprehensive about going back! But I suppose it's just uncomfortable to think about. I'm going to uni in September so might try to seek help through there too, as mentioned a few posts ago. I had that thought a few months back and thought I'd wait it out but couldn't wait any longer!
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
Apprehensive until you are physically there speaking with her? Sounds natural.
Everything will work out. From what you write with your plans it sounds like things are falling into place for you.
TheAlmightyFloater
Player Valuation: £30m
Sorry for the delayed response guys. I went a couple of weeks ago to a counsellor and I got on well with her and was pleasantly surprised as she seemed to understand how everything was feeling inside my head. She was sympathising with the turmoil I must be feeling etc and it was nice to hear instead of "oh you'll be fine". It was a positive meeting as she said that everything I am feeling is fixable with some hard work and that there is nothing wrong with me. A lot of what came up seemed to be other people having issues with things and me getting worked up about it. I suppose it's about changing the way I think and I have been trying to tell myself "it's their issue, not yours" since the meeting. But it is hard. I have another meeting with her tomorrow which I am nervous about again.
Feeling very stressed out at the moment with this whole going on holiday with his family thing. Everything is all planned and it feels all pressurised and like I'll have to three weeks following them around. It's hard to explain what they're like. Let's just say my boyfriend, although he loves them dearly and they're generally nice people, is made up to be living over here on the wirral, away from them. For his whole like he's felt judged and under pressure by them and now I realise what it must be like in his head! Over the past six months, I have gone downhill and I'm now attributing it to them and these two holidays I've had to go on with them. I will never go on holiday with them again! I don't want to be with these people. They're not my kind of people! They're very sociable and pretentious and happy happy happy... And competitive and opinionated... and I just feel on edge all the time! I don't feel like I'm making any sense. I'm just in a low place. I can't wait to return from holiday! Sounds awful. It will probably be fine, but I'd just rather not go, with them.
Good to read that you've made progress with the counsellor and that you have professional reassurance that everything is, as you say, "fixable".
Hope the counselling meeting tomorrow goes well.
In regards to stress, many people find simple breathing techniques helpful to calm down when "the moment" gets too much. I get a lot of stress and negative thoughts at night when trying to sleep and focussing on deep, slow breaths helps to clear them. Also has the benefit of making me sleepy!
It's not for everyone and for all I know you have already tried it, but if you haven't it might be worth looking up/asking the counsellor about?
Wish you all the best!
Sorry for the delayed response guys. I went a couple of weeks ago to a counsellor and I got on well with her and was pleasantly surprised as she seemed to understand how everything was feeling inside my head. She was sympathising with the turmoil I must be feeling etc and it was nice to hear instead of "oh you'll be fine". It was a positive meeting as she said that everything I am feeling is fixable with some hard work and that there is nothing wrong with me. A lot of what came up seemed to be other people having issues with things and me getting worked up about it. I suppose it's about changing the way I think and I have been trying to tell myself "it's their issue, not yours" since the meeting. But it is hard. I have another meeting with her tomorrow which I am nervous about again.
Feeling very stressed out at the moment with this whole going on holiday with his family thing. Everything is all planned and it feels all pressurised and like I'll have to three weeks following them around. It's hard to explain what they're like. Let's just say my boyfriend, although he loves them dearly and they're generally nice people, is made up to be living over here on the wirral, away from them. For his whole like he's felt judged and under pressure by them and now I realise what it must be like in his head! Over the past six months, I have gone downhill and I'm now attributing it to them and these two holidays I've had to go on with them. I will never go on holiday with them again! I don't want to be with these people. They're not my kind of people! They're very sociable and pretentious and happy happy happy... And competitive and opinionated... and I just feel on edge all the time! I don't feel like I'm making any sense. I'm just in a low place. I can't wait to return from holiday! Sounds awful. It will probably be fine, but I'd just rather not go, with them.
Hi, you have almost described my inlaws in that passage to a " T ", except their whole life is based around drinking and manipulating everyone else into doing what they want to do. Mine came to stay for a night a few weeks ago and my anxiety levels the week before, almost made my head lift off. I loathe them with a passion and it's caused me no end of domestic turmoil in the past. I'd stop short at staying I hate them, I think detest would be a better word !
I really can put myself in your shoes over the looming three week holiday as I once had to spend ten days with mine in the South of France, where we had to do what they wanted for the whole time, which involved nothing more than drinking and eating - I coped by going for a massive run every evening by myself, otherwise I'd have said or done something terrible .
Obvioulsy I'm not suggesting that you go for massive run every night, but consider the possibility of taking a short course of sedatives whilst away with them. They will take away nearly all of the anxiety and make you feel normal ?.
The situation with the holiday is eating you up and isn't aiding all other good stuff your doing. It's only something to think about ?
If you're honest with your GP about how this affecting you I'd imagine that they'd want to help - however sedatives should only be taken for a short time as they can be habit forming .
Ps - I understand why your partner won't say anything to them, as mine have such a hold of my missus, that they can almost reduce her to a wreck with very subtle emotional head bending .
PM if you want to talk in private x
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
Family!
Sounds horrible to say, but they are drinking themselves into an early grave and I don't really care. They think that because they are wealthy middle class retirees that they can't possibly have a drink problem - that's for tramps and the lower classes !!!!!!!!!!!!!
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
They buying your drinks at least?
TheAlmightyFloater
Player Valuation: £30m
Tough situation and one I am very familiar with. It can be difficult offering support for partners who have demanding families while maintaining your own mental health. At some point the fire to say something or try and fix it dies when you realise some people never change.
Hope you cope with it ok.
They buying your drinks at least?
Lol, I refuse to drink in their presence, as I know how much it winds them up -
" go on, just have one, no thank you, some one has to remain sober and responsible to look after the children !"
My form of guerilla warfare !
Cheers mate, see the above post - it's almost become a game now, winding them up !
BiggyRat
Player Valuation: £35m
Yep, it can get like that. Do your best to break up the monotony...say, go to a movie or something mid week...out of the ordinary. Not a cure, but something to take your mind off the problem for a few hours, until you work through it.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
always fall asleep at movies lol .try loads to differ but waking up is always the same.
TheAlmightyFloater
Player Valuation: £30m
"Groundhog day effect" is a great way to describe it.
@BiggyRat gave some good advice to break up the monotony but I can see where you are coming from.
I've always found reading to be incredibly soothing. I love reading, especially fantasy novels where it offers a complete, immersive escape for a few hours. Getting lost in a good book often give me something to look forward to when I wake up, knowing that there is still an adventure happening that I can be a part of (bit sad, right? haha). You may not enjoy reading but there will be something out there that can give you something to break that "groundhog day effect", even if it's just reading a chapter every morning, or the new Game of Thrones episode etc.
Hope you feel better soon mate.