Workplace Etiquette

[4737carlin]

My firt job when i left school, i was finding it hard to brake the silence kind of thing, bit nervous and all that, one lunch brake people well telling jokes, i thought right nows my chance, so i piped up and told a joke about a Jehovah's Witness .... which was recived with stone cold silence by everyone, anyway afterwards some lad came over and told me id badly f'd up as my boss was a Jehovah's Witness!!!
TBF i did apologise in private later but he told me it was fine as they know JW jokes comes with the territory since the average man in the street dosent understand they things they know.

 

[coollino]

Bad: people that don't shut up about having a coffee

 

[COYBL25]

Didn’t know you worked with @MaupsGoat

He looked like Uncle Festa.

He was the most vile human being, I’ve ever met.

The mad thing, was that his missus was lovely !

 

[Jebus_lives]

Give me some of your do's and dont's for a successful day in the workplace. Horror stories also welcome.

I'll start: never, ever microwave fish in a small kitchen. Never

Yessssss @Nymzee!

Leaving a fault on the photocopier and walking away.

Also, and I think this might be NHS specific, taking every bit of cutlery from a kitchen.

 

[DualityNSNO]

Sounds like my kind of gig, any jobs going there lol

Nah, money's not good, those people were (and still are) at the company for about 15 years now. They get decent money for no work but can get much better money for actual work in a better workplace.

 

[Nymzee]

"Can I borrow this?" knowing full well you will never see it again.

 

[magicjuan]

Lunch? Office? ?

Seems to be a connection there. Proper workers don't get lunches, we get whipped and thrown crisps. Us and yuppy sorts who do beak on toast.

 

[degsy]

Can't beat a paid crap.
I try to do all my bowel evacuations on work time.

Knew a sparky called Alan Smith who always went for a crap before he clocked out fridays, said his aim was to try to make it to monday morning so he could go on the bosses time.

 

[tommye]

Knew a sparky called Alan Smith who always went for a crap before he clocked out fridays, said his aim was to try to make it to monday morning so he could go on the bosses time.

Worked with one fella who wouldn't crap anywhere but at home (Huyton)
No matter where he was working, anywhere within a 50 mile radius, he would go home for a crap. Every. Single. Day. lollol

 

[Bungle]

I am usually reminded to stick my holiday dates on the calendar when someone else mentions their own holiday to me and how they need to book the same days, I sometimes add mine whilst they're still telling me about theirs, which means when they try they'll usually be told they can't have their days, usually by me.

That's what you get for boring me with your upcoming holiday details, I feel no guilt.

 

[carlos21]

Bad: people that don't shut up about having a coffee

Hi Sam.

 

[tommye]

Lunch? Office? ?

Seems to be a connection there. Proper workers don't get lunches, we get whipped and thrown crisps. Us and yuppy sorts who do beak on toast.

My heart bleeds for these poor unfortunates with kitchens and actual toilets to use at their leisure during the day.

Bet none of them have ever had a piss tub in the back of the van! lollol

 

[Bruce Wayne]

@Bruce Wayne bad news

We ain't in America here. At least call it by its right name. Spandex ffs.

 

[canuckblue]

Can't beat a paid crap.
I try to do all my bowel evacuations on work time.

I figure if I can take a dump on the company time first thing in the morning, the day's going to go a lot better.

 

[Yarrgh]

Knew a sparky called Alan Smith who always went for a crap before he clocked out fridays, said his aim was to try to make it to monday morning so he could go on the bosses time.

My internal pooh schedule does this thing were I don't need to go at weekends and blammo, paid to drop a Rafael and Allardyce come Monday.

That's two big fat sh...